Ay, there's the rub

I've been pretty sick for the past four days or so. Well, I've been pretty sick going on... six years now. I even have a semi-official diagnosis of what plagues me: motherhood.

This week was a little nastier than others... I was convinced I had strep throat AND laryngitis AND tonsillitis, my throat hurt that bad. My doctor also found ear and sinus infections, which I must have missed while writhing in pain every time I sneezed as air forced its way through my flaming esophagus with the force of a Concorde.

I have had sores festering on my ankles for about a week or more, and it seems Neosporin makes it WORSE, as if the infecting germs are laughing at me as they devour the medicine. There's also a one-inch gaping split on the bottom of my right foot that won't heal...

I know I'm starting to sound like an old lady – next I'll start bitching about my false teeth and arthritis medication – but the point is, I think I found the source of my ills. And here it is:



I have been wearing these jeans around for a few years now, and I never noticed the tag before. REMOVE BEFORE WASHING OR WEARING. And not only has it contaminated my body, it's contaminated my laundry.

What is IN that tag??