In loving memory

Grandpap, say hi to Mom.

Very funny

I thought these would taste like cardboard, but topped with cold cuts and Cheez Whiz, I couldn't tell the difference. Amazing!

So who's the baby daddy?

A friend of mine named Jeff who maybe wishes to remain anonymous but who lives in Chicago and was born with Pittsburgh in his blood but was raised in Florida where he lived until he was in his 30s (and who visited us relatively recently) was an audience member at Jerry Springer on Monday, October 22, 2007.

"I'm not ashamed of seeing Springer!" he told me via email, though I corrected all his capitalization and whatnot.


"Springer was awesome. That shit is so staged!"

"Do they pause for commercial breaks?"

"Yes they pause for commecial breaks! They send the two parties out of the room for a couple minutes. Jerry makes small talk with the audience sometimes. Then they bring them out and make them fight again. There was much nudity. We got mooned by 2 guys on stage (there was way too much sack showing from behind), flashed by some chick in the crowd and by another guy in the crowd. It was not a pleasant experience."

"So it's not like NFL, where they just stand around on the field and then get the signal to go at it again. Do you think they are real people??"

"I think they're actors. There was nothing that looked remotely authentic about the entire show."

"Now I can sleep well. It's like when I found out the truth about WWF."

For the record, I suspected it all along. Really.

The saddest part of the story? Oprah also tapes in Chicago. You'd think Jeff would choose something a L I T T L E M O R E cultural.

Why my house is spotless right now

"You would cry too
If it happened to you."

-- It's My Party, Lesley Gore


I had a dream last night that my dad threw me a block party, and I didn't want it. I kept avoiding everyone, and he kept nagging me to spend time with the guests because they were all there for me. I kept excusing myself and kept trying to find my boyfriend (some lanky kid I knew in grade school, and the party was in my childhood neighborhood), but the lanky kid kept saying he'd be back, and I kept chasing after him each time I saw him.

But he kept walking away, calling over his shoulder that he'd be back.

I remember being so upset in the dream, that I told my family that no one was ever to have a party for me again until my funeral. I was never the kind of person who wanted to be the center of attention, never wanted a big wedding, never even wanted a birthday party.

There were all kinds of games going on at the block party, so I'd pretend to join a game, but my heart wasn't in it, so I'd just wander off. Actually, no one was really paying attention to me anyway. Even my dad stopped nagging me after a while.

At the end of the dream, I was calling for my dogs. They were running around the neighborhood, and strangers who heard there was a party in the neighborhood began showing up to crash. I could see my dogs near the edge of the woods up the street when I began calling for them, and when I saw a few young people in a speeding car, I stopped calling them, for fear they would get hit. But the dogs looked up and spotted me anyway, and came running.

Very quickly, Sarah got caught in the back wheel of one of the cars, and her head came off. The car stopped, and I stumbled over, I couldn't look, and I just dropped to my knees at the front of the car and began wailing.

All this party crap that I didn't want, and now my dog was gone. The driver of the car had gotten out and was kneeling and crying next to my dog, but I couldn't go over and see her. I couldn't. I just wailed, but no sound was coming out of me.


It was a very weird dream, and it stuck with me all day.


Tom told me Friday that he might have cancer.

Again.

And he's been pulling away ever since.


I clean a LOT when I'm upset.

We're all professionals

At times.

Tell me if this doesn't suck...

...when you're trying like hell to get to work on time.


...when you have to pee.

...if you are on your way to an early appointment and you hit snooze a few too many times.

...when the gas needle has clearly declared residence in the red zone.

...on Monday.


I thought Port Authority cut back their rides, but one manages to find its way in front of me on a fairly regular basis.

Boo!!!

We are gearing up for Halloween. This week, decorations and pumpkins. Next week, picking a costume.

While we were hanging around at Tom's house, someone asked Zoe what she was going to be this year.

"A princess!" she said.

"And Zoe," I said, "What were you the year before?"

"A princess!"

"And the year before that?"

"A PRINCESS!!"

It never gets old.


We took a hayride to the pumpkin patch.


It was a, ah, long ride.


The rule was everyone had to be able to carry his or her own pumpkin to the hayride back.


Zoe feeds a hungry pig.


Catty!


Pony rides.


We closed down the farm.


The Halloween decorations are fantastic!

A sensible solution

Leaving day care after work tonight, I found a lovely note tucked on my car, admonishing me for not having a jacket for Jacob at the day care. The temp outside must have dropped a good 15 degrees throughout the day.

Zoe plucked it off my car and read it. "Mommy, what does B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T spell?"

I took the note from her and crumbled it up.

"Why did you do that, Mommy?"

"It's a note from Joe. I don't want any notes from Joe."

"Why is he being so mean to you, Mommy?"

"I don't know, kiddo. Let's not worry about it. I'm thinking we should go to Walmart and spend your gift card?"

She was quiet as we drove, and then out of the blue, "Mommy, I wish I had a real magic wand. Do they have those at the Walmart in this town?"

"Zoe, you have TONS of magic wands at home. Don't you want to get something different?"

"But I want a REAL one. I would wave it over Joe and make him nice."