The other woman

Zoe's dad bought a house in North Carolina. We've been talking lately about him seeing Zoe more... the drive will be about eight hours away from Pittsburgh, give or take.

I am excited about this! I think Zoe might be a little bummed, since Daddy won't be near the beach like he used to. But I'll let him deal with that.

The interesting twist here is that Bob has a girlfriend who is moving to North Carolina with him. I'd guess they've been dating for six months or so, and she's taking the leap... I give her a lot of credit. I haven't met Joy, nor has Zoe, but she's going to embark on this journey with Bob...

GOD HELP HER.

Bob is pushing for me to meet her. Which is fine. I mean, I have to, right? I'm that bitch she thinks about as she goes to bed some nights, wishing I didn't exist. Bob says she's jealous, but really, Zoe and I are just the unknown. I'm sure once she meets me and realizes I couldn't care less about her or her stepmom potential, she'll be fine. And once she sees what a great kid Zoe is, maybe she'll even be a little happy that Bob is capable of producing such lovely offspring.

I swear, when Bob and I first broke up, I thought, NO OTHER WOMAN WILL EVER HELP RAISE MY CHILD. Five years later, I'm thinking, "Will some other woman PLEASE GET THIS CHILD OFF MY HANDS for a couple of weekends a year and make sure Bob doesn't let her guzzle paint out of a five-gallon bucket?"

Not to mention, Bob has been there for me through so much lately, practically cheering for me through my pregnancy with Jacob when no one else did, so this is not a big favor for him to ask, to meet this poor soul who has fallen in love with him.

I just wonder what I would say to her. "Don't worry, the thought of me ever having sex with your boyfriend again completely repulses me." Or as Bob puts it, he and I love each other, "but we can't stand each other."

Or maybe I'll take her aside and just tell her to never let Bob grow his hair long again. It gets all stringy and greasy and it's not very becoming on him. Or I'll tell her, yeah, it's unusual that Bob and I get along, sorry you didn't get to experience one of those crazy biological moms...

OR....

I'll tell her that if she has kids with him, to get a PROFESSIONAL to install all the safety latches if she can't do it herself. To demand that Bob keep all the power tools out of reach... as well as the caulk guns. And the garbage bags.


And urge her to get Bob to call Zoe more often.

She misses him all the time.