'Live your life with arms wide open'

"I break tradition;
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines.
We've been conditioned
To not make mistakes,
But I can't live that way."

-- Unwritten, Natasha Bedingfield


Tom extended an offer, casually, to have a casual relationship.

I don't know what that means, and at first, I was all chomping at the bit, like I can still see him, I can see his kids, his family, maybe, sort of... what does casual mean?

Dinner "here and there."

After thinking about it, I felt... insulted.

All this feeling he knows I have, and he wants to put me in his back pocket? Pull me out when he has time to pay attention? Pull at my heartstrings enough to keep stringing it along? Slap a new label on us so we don't have to address any conflicts?


I think.... lately... about the night we danced at the wedding, and I put my head on his shoulder and he had his arms around me, and I felt like I could do that forever. I wanted to be in his arms forever. And I was so fucking there. I was so sure.

But I've been reduced to a casual date.

I think... I'll have to pass on that. Exit denial stage.