Work vs. play vs. work

"As sure as night is dark and day is light,
I keep you on my mind both day and night,
And happiness I've known proves that it's right.
Because you're mine, I walk the line."

-- I Walk the Line, Johnny Cash



I was all over my calendar today... marking up everything from car appointments to next year's camping trip with my cousins. Coincidentally, my boss had me double-checking my vacation days spent, which turned out to be a good idea; he had marked down Saturdays and Sundays -- my days off -- that were counting against me.

Emails were flying around work with various invitations to this and that, going-away parties, gallery receptions, company picnics, NFL exhibition games. This must be the busy social season in Pittsburgh: hurry up and do stuff before it starts snowing.

Joe came over and asked about me attending a city editor's going-away party, hosted by another editor and his wife. I had gotten that invitation in a mass email but promptly dismissed it: It was an editor I had barely exchanged words with. I know that Joe is close to few in the newsroom and these guys... are pretty much them. But I never expected he'd want to drag me along to this event.

In fact, it hit me like a ton of bricks when he asked me.

Joe is an extremely private person. In fact, last weekend, he told his parents for the first time about us having a child together. And as far as work goes, I figure a lot of people probably have put two and two together about us: High-ranking editor involved with young new hire -- and whoa, she's pregnant. But only a few close to Joe have confirmed with him our relationship, and no one I work with directly has even had the balls to hint about the rumors being true.

I noticed even The Editor has had me in his office only once since I became obviously swelled.

Joe and I have been getting along fabulously, so this isn't about any skepticism or trepidation I might have about our future. In fact, I have seen enormous changes in our relationship since our separation, which I think served as more of a wake-up call for us to get out of our short-lived dreamy new-relationship fuzz and get on with reality than it signaled any underlying deal-breaking obstacles. If I had any doubts at all about being in love with him before the separation, they are gone now.

But.... publicly outing ourselves... with coworkers...

....who are reporters and editors... and unnaturally curious....

I KNOW this is a case of me paying more attention to the circumstances than any of my coworkers would dare spend more than a few moments thinking about, but I just imagine me making a total fool of myself, or Joe, when these people are really his social circle and not mine. Or slightly worse, that I'll bear witness to them making fools of themselves. Or that my working relationship will change with them, for better or for worse.

Too much thought, I know. I should just go, and hang on the arm of my loved one and let people get over the fact that we're so damn scandalous yet so damn normal.