First grade, first day!

Aw, poop

Zoe and Jacob and I were sitting around the table last night eating dinner, being as silly as we ever are. Zoe normally entertains him by pretending to fall off her chair, or by dancing around the table. It is very ... I don't know how to put this ... heartwarming? to watch them interact like this. Jacob will laugh and giggle with me, but when he is focused on Zoe's antics, there is an appreciation he has for her that comes from deep inside of him. His giggle comes from the soul, he throws his head back and he really lets go with her.

Little people are so cool.

So I'm shoveling carrots into him last night, and he gets one of those typical baby poses, where he clenches his fists and his face turns all red, and his gazed is fixed on some spot as though he were witnessing the second coming of Jesus.

"Are you pooping?" I ask him, and I make a little farting noise. AND I GOT THE GIGGLE. I GOT THE GIGGLE HE GIVES ZOE.

So, the dinner conversation turns to bodily functions, and we make more pooping noises, move on to peeing noises... I think we even threw in a few burps and sneezes. And he is giggling through all of this like he just learned how to giggle and his life depended on keeping it up.

Later when we were sprawled out on the living room floor, I turned to Zoe and said, "I think Jacob just pooped again." Stoically, matter of fact. And Jacob busted out laughing again! I didn't realize it earlier, but apparently it is the actual WORD poop that is setting him off. So we bombard him with "poop."




Ahhhh... raising a boy.

Weekend warriors

We had a great time visiting with Aunt Kelly over the weekend. We went to the fair, where it was, oh, I dunno.... 100 DEGREES?? It was farther away than I thought, the trip, so next time I nag Kelly about why she doesn't come down more often, I'll understand.


Zoe and Frankie with the police horses.



Mom and Jacob at the police demonstration.



This was so HOT!!!



Drunk chicks?



Cow butts.



Dad pulls... er, pushes... his weight.



Jacob vs. the livestock.



Kelly and Paul. "We don't have any pictures together." AFTER THREE YEARS??



We have a winner!



Saying goodbye.

The big screen

Zoe was with her dad for part of last week, and this week she is with my sister. While she's been gone, I've been getting ready for her sixth birthday party... shopping for presents and decorating her room... missing the shit out of her! There's something to be said for having a gap in ages between children. I almost don't know what to do with Jacob without her around! He's always so entertained by her, and with only me, he's only mildly amused. I'm just Mom, where Zoe is that freakin' cool little person that feeds him popsicles when Mom isn't looking!

I've been talking on the phone with Zoe a couple times a day, and while it saddens me a bit that she is having a great time in absence of her mother, I'm so glad she is getting to spend time with her aunt and that she is having a wonderful time.

The fact that Aunt Kelly says Zoe's been remarkably good (for the most part) kind of validates all the yelling and screaming I've done while raising her!!



We've tried a couple of times to get a web cam thing going, and tonight we finally succeeded. Jacob normally chases after me when he spots me with the computer... he wants to play with the keys and in general make a mess of anything he can get his hands on, since he's been crawling for nearly two weeks now. Tonight was no different, but then suddenly Aunt Kelly and Zoe appeared on the screen, and you would have thought they had reached out through the screen and touched him, with the way he suddenly sat still in my lap and stoically watched the screen animated with his big sister and the sound of her voice.

We miss her very much.

I love waking up to this

Rude awakenings

Joe and I had our first official legal proceeding today... in front of a hearing officer to determine child support. It was what you might expect... he didn't exactly nickel and dime, but he was argumentative and belligerent. His lawyer was annoying as all hell.. probably more than he was.

We were stuffed into a cubicle, and we turned over all the documents about income and expenses. The hearing officer took these numbers and plugged them into his computer and came up with what Joe owes in arrears, what he must provide to me for support and day care.

I have to say, I was very pleased with these numbers.

And I have to say, Joe was not.

So, for the next hour, while I was paying my lawyer a gazillion dollars for that hour, Joe played out every scenario that could happen with day care, tried to alter the medical insurance "status quo," ran through numbers about tax returns. He didn't speak to me much if at all, but addressed my lawyer and kept referring to me as "your client."

It was all... rather... like I was witnessing this while hovering above. I couldn't believe I was sitting there doing this, when only a few months ago I was thinking about marrying him.

Or thinking better of it, really.

In the end, we all signed some document, and then when it was done, Joe abruptly turned to my lawyer and said -- and I'm going to try to quote this word-for-word but I think I was so stunned that I'm bound to be a little off -- "You're shoes are old, you really need to get a new pair. And you walk funny. And I'd stay away from the homosexual sex because it... it doesn't do well with you."

It was complete incoherence (my lawyer is married with five kids and walks fine, though I did notice his shoes were a little worn), and we all sat there in silence a moment, then my lawyer said, "My shoes are fucked up because my feet are fucked up."

And Joe didn't miss a beat: "Well you have fucked up shoes. I hope you get a diaper rash. I hope you stay away from homosexual sex, because you'll get a diaper rash."

And I guess by that time.... my lawyer realized what he was dealing with? He said, "How am I doing to sleep tonight? My feelings are so hurt."

I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. I was inclined to cry. I was inclined to crawl into a hole in the floor and be anywhere but there.



After Joe and his lawyer left, I asked the hearing officer, casually, smiling... "Do you go home at night and pour yourself a stiff drink after dealing with this crap all day? Or is it like entertainment for you?"

And he said, "Yours is a special case. They are not all like this."

Over the river

I am sure I am not the only one who has an issue with bridges. Even before this Minnesota disaster, I have been a little wary of parking on the West End Bridge during traffic, feeling it swaying and bumping.

What has always impressed me about the bridges in Pittsburgh is that they LOOK old. It seems no one has made any attempt to mask the fact that these suckers are decaying, but in a way that gives a sense of safety... like it's just cosmetic in nature. But now I'm not so sure!

My boss counts 22 bridges on his way to work. I have only the West End Bridge, which is among my favorite in Pittsburgh not only for the view of the city, but for the fact that it enables me to cross only one river to get to the opposite side of downtown. The fact that Pittsburgh has more bridges than anywhere else in the world makes it tough to get around without crossing a few here and there.

On my way in to work this morning, there were workers on the north side of the bridge. I imagine they were checking it out, like the rest of municipalities across the nation are probably scrambling to do. On the way home, though, there were emergency workers blocking two lanes of traffic, and they were all looking over the edge. It was with great trepidation that I continued over the bridge. But in Pittsburgh, what choice is there?




Tom and I met briefly for dinner tonight before he started his vacation. A whole week he'll be gone, touring Buffalo and Toronto. I have gotten quite used to him, so it will be weird without him around. What is most weird is that it will be weird.

He is a really wonderful person. I came home tonight to a flower delivery on the front porch.





I really can't say enough about him... I keep waiting to figure out what is wrong with him...

So far, so good.