Is he 50-something? Or 5?

I haven't written in a while about Joe. The communication with us has been very sparse, and I guess I fooled myself into believing it was on an upswing. Then I got this from him today:

Assuming that you are as diligent about changing Jacob's diaper as I am, the people at the day care center aren't changing him often enough.

His diaper rash seemed to be fading, but it's back, including on his leg at the diaper line. For the rash to spread like that, his diaper has to be sopping.

Does anyone there realize how serious a staph infection can be? It can be fatal.

When I arrived Tuesday, there were three or four women employees sitting on their fat behinds in the front room of the center. Jacob was alone in a swing in the infants room because, I'm told, he was crying and tired. He woke up as soon as I approached him and began crying.

He stopped only while I held him. He cried in the car; he cried when I took him in the house. His diaper was soaked and heavy (not just wet from going once). I changed him and discovered the rash had gotten worse. He continued to cry after I slathered on a lot of ointment. He cried so hard I thought he was sick. Then it dawned on me: I had picked up two full bottles from the day care center. Even though you had dropped him off late, he probably was hungry.

He was famished. A bottle and food settled him down, although he clearly was in discomfort from the rash. He did fall asleep early, before 8 p.m. He apparently was exhausted from what must've been a lousy day.

The people at the day care center already are wary of me because I've snapped at them a couple of times. I don't intend to say anything about the wet diaper or rash, or the fact that a hungry, crying baby was lashed to a swing and left alone. Frankly, I think most of them are hopelessly stupid.

You have today to speak to them if you want to. Let me know if you don't want to. Because if you don't, my next step is to call the county or state licensing office for day care centers and demand an inspection.

I tried to ignore the vitriol and put things into perspective. I mean, his concerns are valid, but he's going the call the health department over a DIAPER RASH?

I wrote:

I mentioned to them this morning about the diaper rash. I noticed this started right after he was throwing up. It was almost like his poop was... how do I say this... acidy. Also, I don't think prunes helped the matter... I found a tub of them in his bin at the day care and took them out. I'll put them back when the rash clears up.

The owner wasn't there this morning; I'll try to catch her this evening to talk to her about the other stuff.

What continued throughout the day was more of the same, with it escalating to him accusing me of being a bad mom, once again, because my own mother was dead, and that my daughter is a horrible brat, and it appears he even accuses me of drinking vodka? I can't stand vodka. I don't know where he is going with this shit, but it is clear to me that he found a very flawed way to get out of helping me pay for the day care. I think I showed a healthy amount of restraint. I'll let the emails speak for themselves:

Joe wrote:

The skinny blonde who works there told me she was aware of Jacob's diaper rash, so I figured you called. I also pointed it out it in the note I leave on the refrigerator each time I drop off Jacob.

Reducing Jacob's bowel movements or urination by withholding certain foods or liquids isn't the key to clearing up his diaper rash. Changing his diaper often is. Treating the rash with a topical cream is.

A pediatrician tells me that stomach ailments in babies can lead to more stomach acid in the feces, hence the green color of the feces.

Confirm that you have talked with the center's owner and that she intends to take corrective action. I'm serious about calling for health and safety inspections.

I found a blanket I didn't recognize Tuesday on the crib Jacob uses. The people I asked didn't know whether it belonged to Jacob. I doubt it's his; I washed his blue and while blanket and left it at the day care center Monday. That one was there too.

These people can't keep blankets straight, can't keep track of bottles with names clearly written on them, can't consistently prepare a sheet chronicling Jacob's day and now can't keep him dry and fed. Yet, I'm supposed to believe is that all it takes is a word from the parents to get them to change his diaper often and apply Balmex to the rash with each change.

I'm skeptical.

________________________

I wrote:

Why do I feel like you are attacking me here?

Please do not order me around. I'm not your nanny.
Speak to a health inspector if you choose. Why are you threatening me with it? What do I care if you call?

My point, by the way, in withholding the prunes was to
reduce Jacob's discomfort. I saw the poop it produced.
A pediatrician will tell you that "withholding certain
foods" that irritate the baby's digestive track is a
sound idea.

________________________


Joe wrote:

I said I would hold off calling for an inspection until Thursday to give you a chance to talk with the people you chose and have confidence in. Courtesy rescinded.

Further, I will talk with the owner and let her know that I called for the inspection because I'm concerned about my son's well-being.

How you feel is no concern of mine. Stick to doing what's best for Jacob.

________________________

I wrote:

Be sure to let them know how much you pay toward his care and well-being.

________________________

Joe wrote:

Sure. I'm not a bit ashamed to say I have refused to pony up a penny for substandard day care.

I assume you'd be equally ageeable to telling the world how much you're putting aside for Jacob's future.

I buy Jacob food (and pay the full price), I buy him clothes, I buy him toys, I bought him two beds and furniture.

More important, I've started an investment plan for him, I make payments on a tuition plan, and I bought him a whole life insurance policy that's building cash value. How much would you like to contribute to those? A half-share would total more than the $300 or so a month you want from me for the day care center.

How much of this are you doing too? How much of this are you doing for your daughter?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

________________________

I wrote:

I hope with all that money you are saving up for him, you have saved some for back support.

________________________

Joe wrote:

If you need back support, buy a better bra because, absent a court order, this is a 50-50 shared custody state.

If you're in such dire financial need, cede your 50 percent custody right to me. I'll gladly take Jacob, and I won't ask you for a penny. He'll still be available to you.

I assume you want to continue the custody fight because you presume you'll will. We'll see about that.

________________________

I wrote:

Some interesting reading for you:

https://www.humanservices.state.pa.us/csws/index.aspx

Note the slogan at the top of the web page.

________________________

Joe wrote:

Here's some interesting reading for you; feel free to share it with anyone you care to:

I will win principal custody of my son because I'm the better parent and better person.

I look forward to offering my evidence and proof in court.

Have a nice day.

________________________

I wrote:

God, I feel so bad for you sometimes.

It would be so much easier if you just dealt with reality. Save yourself the coronary.

________________________

Joe wrote:

Pat yourself on the back for being so sympathetic. Reward yourself with a beer or two, a couple of shots of vodka and a few cigarettes.

Yeah, I may have that coronary, but your genes strongly suggest you won't be around to enjoy it.

Jacob might know you only by what I tell him. Don't worry, though. I'm unusually sympathetic to white trash.

Now you better get back to work. Don't you have to do another one of those creative Focus covers or whatever scut work you do for the couple of hours you spend in the office

________________________

I wrote:

I imagine you'd have to be sympathetic to white trash considering how you've raised your daughters.

________________________

Joe wrote:

I trust you won't make the same mistakes with your daughter.

Oops, too late.

And I blame their mother (living). Do you blame yours (dead)? Or do you blame your father (brain-dead)?

________________________

I wrote:

Just maybe I blame creepy old perverted men who take advantage of young struggling single moms, knock them up and throw them out with the trash.

Zoe's been doing awesome since I fixed that huge lapse I had in judgment; thanks for asking about her.

________________________

Joe wrote:

No, it's throw them out BECAUSE they're trash. However, just to be accurate, you hauled yourself to the curb.

I hope it's true that your daughter is doing well. That will mean I have less damage to undo with my son. He will not be an ill-mannered, ill-tempered, disrespectful brat, not that I'm pointing fingers.

________________________

I wrote:

Do you feel better now? We should do this again
sometime. It was fun.

In addition to prunes, the doctor said to avoid pears.
His bum looks good tonight.

________________________

Joe wrote:

See if you and your retarded friends can keep it that way.