Torn apart

"I want you to remain.
The power of children can amaze.
I'll try not to complain.
I know that's a pisser, baby."

-- The Chemicals Between Us, Bush


Things deteriorated rapidly with me and Tom this week. Suddenly his children are all over his case about sharing him. Tom oscillates between kicking their asses and relenting to their wishes, and I know it is taking a toll on him. He feels like he is choosing between his happiness and theirs.

All the guilt and stress he is feeling has me so concerned... and I feel helpless, so very helpless. And with half our brood lashing out, what could we do?

So I found myself packing up his stuff tonight. No bitterness, (OK, not a LOT of bitterness), no anger, (OK, maybe just a bit), but there's a lot of sadness. We love each other, but it's just not working.

I have never been one to throw in the towel without fighting like hell, but my intuition told me that this time, there really is no other choice.

I feel a little bit of peace knowing that some of the turmoil is over. For both of us.