Growing pains

Little things seem to keep happening lately that make me feel... mature.

I got married and left town just out of college. As a matter of fact, I got married and moved to Florida before I even officially graduated. But growing up away from my family's influence, I've always felt like I was bumbling my way through life, always making not quite the right choices.

Since I've been back home, and began really feeling like I am home, I've grown a lot. I can check my own tire pressure, clean my own gutters, hang my own shelves. I have pieces of drywall in my basement for no reason whatsoever, and I save twistie ties "just in case."

Having a second child, and feeling like an old pro at motherhood for the first 16 months, has kind of validated that I'm doing a lot of things right.

But it's the little things that stand out to me, that make me feel all growed up. Like pretending that I'm not afraid of beetles when my daughter takes a shine to them. Like overhearing a co-worker whisper to a friend about getting bad test results and knowing how I felt when I did. Like wanting (desperately) to weed my flower beds rather than meet buddies at the bar. Like feeling pains in my body like I've never felt -- or been prone to discuss at length -- before. Like using my tax refund to pay off my debt instead of splurging on fantastic carpet. Like running into a friend on the elevator commenting on her flowers and actually being able to identify them.

Like learning from a teacher that my offspring is "delightful," and not acting at all surprised that she thinks so.

Zoe cried tonight, saying she missed Jacob. I told her to think about him because he might be thinking about her. "How do you know?"

"Because sometimes when I'm thinking about someone, they magically call because they were thinking about me!"

"But Jacob can't call."

"No, but you can count on him thinking about you when he's not with you, at least sometimes."

"Who do you think about?"

"When I'm at work, I think about you and Jacob."

All the time, Zoe. All the time.