Dis + able

"Paranoia, paranoia.
Everybody's coming to get me.
To say you never met me.
I'm running underground with the moles
Digging big holes."

-- I'm Not Sick But I'm Not Well, Lit



Have you ever had a really bad headache, so bad that you just want to turn off the world? Or hit Control-Z until you get back to where you were before the headache started?

I think I have now gotten my medications worked out. I've cut out the majority of them, and added a few supplements. I have been pretty stable for well over a week.

But somehow, I keep waiting for that headache to come back. It's like I am lying in a dark room staring at the ceiling, not convinced the end has passed.

The end hasn't passed, since I'm not completely off the Zoloft. But things have leveled out, and for that I'm very grateful! My joints have been fucked up since the car accident, and I walk like I constantly have to pee. I can just imagine someone at work directing a new hire over to me: "Go see the girl who sits at the far right desk. The one with the blond hair."

New hire: "Oh, you mean the disabled one?"

It's a bitch turning 35.

The good news is that my blood pressure has been awesome: 128/80 at my last visit. And in spite of my irregular gait, I'm not in any severe pain. All of this has the potential to resolve itself, and for now, I am happy with the status quo.

I have other issues to deal with, such as Zoe's health scare and the renewal of Jacob's custody battle, that will take the forefront before I attempt to readjust my meds again. But I am very pleased with where I am now, and I don't want to do anything that will restart the headache.