With-drawing conclusions

I was chatting with Aimee today about my lively and active withdrawal from Zoloft and the myriad symptoms I was having on an unpredicatable rotating basis. Today I added severe indigestion and random twitches to the list. I vaguely remember while sleeping last night my arm twitching so violently that I almost smacked myself with it.

And the dreams. My dreams very vividly incorporate my everyday life to the point where I tone down my days as much as I can so I don't have to relive anything weird at night. Some people report these as hallucinations, saying they have the same lucid experiences while they are wide awake. Some say the twitching can be so bad they can't drive.

I guess I'm lucky.

Aimee seemed livid that I'd settle for feeling lucky. "Didn't you know about the side effects??" she demanded. "Didn't your doctor tell you???"

"A bottle of Advil has a list of side effects just as long," I told her, "and you don't necessarily get them. The thing they don't tell you about Zoloft is that you are very likely to get ALL OF THEM."

I was basing that on pure speculation, so, I looked up the side effects of Advil tonight:

The most common side effects from ibuprofen are rash, ringing in the ears, headaches, dizziness, drowsiness, abdominal pain, nausea, diarrhea, constipation and heartburn. NSAIDs reduce the ability of blood to clot and therefore increase bleeding after an injury. Ibuprofen may cause ulceration of the stomach or intestine, and the ulcers may bleed. Sometimes, ulceration can occur without abdominal pain, and black, tarry stools, weakness, and dizziness upon standing (orthostatic hypotension) due to bleeding may be the only signs of an ulcer. NSAIDs reduce the flow of blood to the kidneys and impair function of the kidneys. The impairment is most likely to occur in patients who already have impaired function of the kidney or congestive heart failure, and use of NSAIDs in these patients should be cautious. People who are allergic to other NSAIDs, including aspirin, should not use ibuprofen. Individuals with asthma are more likely to experience allergic reactions to ibuprofen and other NSAIDs. Fluid retention (edema), blood clots, heart attacks, hypertension and heart failure have also been associated with the use of NSAIDs.

That's a pretty comprehensive list. I've never gotten any of that from Advil, have you?

It was much more difficult to find such a comprehensive list of side effects for Zoloft on the internet. I have a printout of my drug literature, but it was not nearly as easy to nail down the same complete list through many medical sites. I finally found this though:

Side effects may include Nausea, dizziness, dry mouth, loss of appetite, increased sweating, drowsiness, diarrhea, upset stomach, or trouble sleeping may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, notify your doctor or pharmacist promptly. Tell your doctor immediately if any of these unlikely but serious side effects occur: unusual or severe mental/mood changes (e.g., agitation, nervousness, suicidal thoughts), decrease in sexual ability (ejaculation delay), decreased interest in sex, uncontrollable shaking (tremor), unusual weight loss. Tell your doctor immediately if any of these highly unlikely but very serious side effects occur: easy bruising/bleeding, persistent nausea/vomiting, severe stomach/abdominal pain, black stools, seizures, change in the amount of urine, dark urine, vomit that looks like coffee grounds, yellowing eyes/skin. This medication may rarely cause a very serious condition called serotonin syndrome. The risk increases when this medication is used with certain other drugs such as "triptans" used to treat migraine headaches (e.g., sumatriptan, eletriptan), certain antidepressants including other SSRIs (e.g., citalopram, paroxetine) and SNRIs (e.g., duloxetine, venlafaxine), lithium, tramadol, tryptophan, or a certain drug to treat obesity (sibutramine). Before taking this drug, tell your doctor if you take any of these medications. Serotonin syndrome may be more likely when you start or increase the dose of any of these medications. Seek immediate medical attention if you develop some of the following symptoms: hallucinations, unusual restlessness, loss of coordination, fast heartbeat, severe dizziness, unexplained fever, severe nausea/vomiting/diarrhea, twitchy muscles.

This is actually what the drug company itself boils it down to on the official Zoloft web site, in their FAQ section:

What are the most common side effects of Zoloft?
Some people taking Zoloft might have some side effects. The most common Zoloft side effects are dry mouth, insomnia, sexual side effects, diarrhea, nausea and sleepiness. Not everyone gets side effects.

NOT EVERYONE GETS SIDE EFFECTS? Oh, maybe if you count that 1 in 100,000. Because a lot of message boards out there show that "brain zaps" and "electric shocks" are pretty common lingo in the weaning circles, as are "REM disorder" and "shivers and shakes."

And these are the side effects from GETTING OFF THE DRUG. Nothing in my literature mentions that the listed symptoms are actually withdrawal symptoms. I felt pretty good while actively dosed. Now I feel like I should be in a in-patient methadone clinic getting off some REAL drug, strapped to a bed with leather restraints while three husky, pale nurses in starched white uniforms hover over my sweating, contorted, writhing self telling me in sing-songy voices that everything is going to be ok.... "Just hold still a moment... this will only hurt for a second...."