Beep, beeeep

I am learning quickly the nuances of driving in Pittsburgh. One of my favorites is the art of honking; I'm not a fan, but it's considered mostly polite and necessary in this town. Here's a primer.

THE QUICK HONK
In Florida: "Go stupid, the light is green."
In Pittsburgh: "Hey, thanks for squeezing onto that guy's yard on this side street so I could get by first, even though I waited five minutes for you to go first."

TWO QUICK HONKS
In Florida: "You're drifting into my lane, stupid. What's that blinking on the side of your car?"
In Pittsburgh: "Thanks for letting me go when it wasn't my turn. That was swell."

THE LONG HONK
In Florida: "Go stupid, the light is green and I'm in a hurry!"
In Pittsburgh: "Hey man, get out here, the bars close at 2!"

MULTIPLE ANNOYING HONKS
In Florida: "Get off your cell phone and drive!" ("I'd be there by now if this ass in front of me would get off the phone! OK, bye." Click.)
In Pittsburgh: "Hey man! I haven't seen you in a month! Call and we'll go grab a beer and some pierogies!" (Works for both fellow drivers and pedestrians.)

SHORT HONK, FOLLOWED BY LONG HONK
In Florida: "Get out of the fast lane, stupid Canadian!"
In Pittsburgh: "Get out of the fast lane, stupid Floridian!"