Sigh. Of. Relief.

"I'm used to it by now.
Another day; just believe.
Just breathe. Just believe.
Just breathe.
Lying in my bed,
Another day, staring at the ceiling."

-- Breathe, Telepopmusik



I hate it when I don't have Jacob over the weekend. I can't just lie down on my living room floor and know that within minutes he'll come bulldozing over me or start throwing toys at me or poking at my belly button or sticking things up my nose... it just kills me. The lack of control over being with my baby... I can barely stand it.

At least during the week, I can stop at the day care and see him at will, or call and get an update. But on Joe's weekends... I have to force myself to get out of bed and keep busy or I will go nuts.

But the beautiful thing about Mondays after those weekends... is the feeling of peace that overwhelms me when I get to scoop him up in my arms and fall into a heap laughing with him and Zoe. Everything is complete, everything is the way it's supposed to be, after holding my breath for three whole days.

If it wasn't for Zoe, a dedicated therapist and a bottomless laundry hamper, I would be insane by now.