...You might be a redneck

A few weekends ago, Liam, Zoe and I trekked up to the top of the hill behind my house. I'm not sure how far my property goes back... but in the summer it was too grown over to navigate, so I decided to take advantage of the sparse vegetation and warm weather to get an idea of what I was dealing with back there.

When we finally reached a plain below Nevillewood, a slum version of Pittsburgh's suburban gated communities, I realized we were encountering the bathroom of all the deer in the township. Watch out for that yellow snow. And the piles of beaded excrement.

I have seen less than a handful of deer in my back yard since we moved here, but I know they are there, and I wondered if my dog had anything to do with them steering clear of our hilly pasture. So, I went in search of ways to get the wildlife closer to home.

I found what I was looking for:


It's habit-forming, powerful deer attractant, it claims. It comes in solid, salt lick form. "Paw'n, knaw'n deer lick'n good."

I can't wait to make this purchase and apply it to all the various stumps available for licking.