Time's Up

"Still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets and
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet."

- David Bowie, Changes

I had another shouting match with my ex right before work today. And when I got to work, someone sent me a link to newspaper-related site that announced that a girl with barely a year of experience got the job I had applied for on our features desk.

How wonderful that I got to find that out on the Internet before someone at work told me.

I was riled up so I vented to my editor and my DME. This girl and her boyfriend (they ARE lovely people, I helped interview them) were hired together, some kind of "deal," one of the editors said. Well, good for them, but I've been asking for a "deal" for more than a year, and I've been lied to and strung along by one, two three, four, five... yes, five people. I told my editor that I was upset that no one feels the need to be up front or honest with me, and that I have so much to lose from not being able to act sooner than I am now.

I can walk into that newsroom on any given night and do anyone's job. Design, rim, slot, production, wire, photo. I think I'm the only one who can do that. But they're going to sacrifice a 10-year underpaid worker for a "deal" they made with two kids right out of college. I'm totally missing something here.

What's worse, she implied that when I filled in on the features desk, they must not have liked me. It doesn't matter that I'm way more qualified than the new hire. Or that I'm not the art director they said they decided to hire for that position.

I was whiny, I was angry, and I wasn't looking for anything, and I made that clear. But I could NOT sit there all night and steam about it; I had to finally let them know how I felt. I won't go out kicking and screaming, but I won't go out with a muffled whimper either! I have nothing to lose.

I really want to run away from all this, and I'm afraid my ex will now prevent that from happening.

I'm tempted to tell them I will be with them for another couple of years just so they don't go hiring more people for the position I haven't vacated yet. (Oh yeah, the boyfriend half of the duo was hired for our desk, and no position was ever posted, hmmmm.)

I do wish them the best of luck though. They are great kids and they will do well; I can tell by how our "design editor" coddles those he hires and neglects us old-timers who came before him.