I sure can pick 'em

"Just because you're paranoid
Don't mean they're not after you."

-- Territorial Pissings, Nirvana




This has been an incredibly long 24 hours. Maybe not the worst 24 hours of my life, but definitely in the top 10.

It started with Joe learning that I was buying a house. What I'd hoped for: He'd profess his love, let me go, and we'd work on stuff while living apart and agree on everything. Worst case: NOT ANYTHING CLOSE TO WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

I packed up enough for the weekend after all his threats about lawyers and money and custody, and then he wouldn't let me leave with Jacob. I had to call the police just to get him to let me leave. While we waited for the police to come and mediate our little domestic situation, he paced.

"You better tell your dirtbag family to start giving you handouts now," he told me. "You will need thousands of dollars to beat me on custody. You can't run fast enough or far enough from me. I have resources you don't even know about, YOU C---."

Yeah, he whipped out the old C-word. That's a good relationship-killer. If I wasn't sure... If I was wavering even a little....

Could it get worse? YOU BET.

I fielded a half dozen emails from him today, each worse than the next. I'll clean them up for the sake of decency: He's planning to sue me for sole custody and support, I'm a big slob who can't finish a load of laundry, and he's emailing my mortgage lender to let them know that my income is changing and going mostly to him when he wins his case. Oh, and I can't take anything of Jacob's out of his home or I'll be arrested for trespassing, though I was free to get Zoe's shit out because he doesn't want to look at it. Oh, and Zoe has all kinds of emotional problems because I'm a bad mom.

A BAD MOM FOR STAYING WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING PRICK.

He has pretended to have a lawyer, but I can't honestly believe that he has one. A lawyer would have reeled him in, told him to restrain himself, to not lay all his cards on the table.

I called my lawyer and followed his instructions, to offer to drop Jacob off in exchange for a note saying when he would be returned, to insist on taking certain things from the home to care for Jacob, but the emails just got worse with Joe. I just tabled it all, and told him to contact my lawyer directly. I have nothing to wear to work on Monday, but I'm willing to kiss goodbye all my shit in Joe's house instead of going back over there alone, as Joe demands. Alone. Why would he want me alone in his house?

I've been looking over my shoulder all day. Around corners, in my rearview mirror. Every noise outside makes me jump.

I'm so close to closing on my house, and yet I'm homeless.

This is no way to live.


And to top it off.... today is the day we were supposed to get married.